Dear Duggars:

I have never had the intention of getting political/controversial on this blog.  My posts are normally intended for fun and relatability, and I don’t ever want to try to ruffle feathers.  But since I am sitting here fuming over what I just witnessed, I feel I must get this out or else something in my home is about to get broken.  Also I am about 3 glasses of wine in and so mad I can’t even see straight.

I will preface this by saying I have never thought the Duggars were bad people.  I think they are very closed-minded and don’t agree with a lot of parts of their lifestyle, but I have never begrudged them for living their lives. But then this scandal about Josh Duggar erupted.  And I was immediately infuriated by the hypocrisy of it all.  How dare they go out of their way to label gay and transgender people as pedophiles, when they had a pedophile living under their roof?  How dare they go on television and claim to be an upstanding family with no flaws while they have this awful secret?  I’ll tell you how:  It’s because they are “The Duggars.”  They are put on a pedestal as the epitome of Christian values.  When this came out, I was shocked at how many came to their defense.  If this was the Kardashians instead of the Duggars, I promise you no one would be defending them.  I am a Christian person, but what I am not is a hypocrite who portrays a life of perfection while sweeping all my horrible choices under the rug.

Immediately I hear people saying “everyone has sinned” and “no one should judge” and quoting all the Bible verses to support that.  Where were these people when the Duggars were out there ACTIVELY JUDGING people?  Claiming that an entire group of people were sexual predators solely based on their sexual orientation.  If they had this secret, instead of advocating against the gay community, they could have been out there advocating for victims of sexual violence.  That would have been a way to spin this horrible situation into something positive.  But instead they hid this and persecuted others, instead of using it to do something good.  

Alas, I was ready to let it go and move on, if they actually owned up to it.  Maybe Josh and his victims really did get the counseling they needed.  Maybe Josh really is no longer a threat to little girls.  At least I was hoping for that.  I do sympathize for what this family went through.  And they had a chance to come clean and have some good come out of this, and that’s what I was praying would happen. But then…I watched the Megyn Kelly interview.

So now, to help calm my anger, I am going to address the main takeaways from this interview, and why I think Jim Bob and Michelle as parents and people, should be completely ashamed of themselves.

“He was just curious about girls and just touched them over their clothes.”

Maybe if you would have conversations with your children about their bodies, and sexuality, and what’s inappropriate and not, he may not have “been curious.”  Or, you could just let him have a girlfriend like a normal 14 year old boy.

“This was not rape or anything, it was touching someone over their clothes, a couple of incidents of touching them under their clothes, but it was just like a few seconds.”

Molesting is molesting.  Sexual abuse is serious whether it is rape or a guy grabbing your boobs at a bar.  Stop trivializing it.

“As parents you’re not mandatory reporters.  The law allows for parents to do what they think is best for their child.”

NO, Jim Bob, CHILDREN.  You have children, not “child.” You were the parents of the victims too, not just the offender.  Why is what’s best for Josh coming before what’s best for your daughters as his victims?

“They didn’t really understand.  It was more of his heart, his intent, he knew.  He knew it was wrong, but they weren’t even aware.  They probably didn’t even understand that it was improper touch.”

I am calling straight bullshit on this one.  I was molested starting at age 5 by a boy a little younger than Josh.  Even at age 5, knowing nothing about sexuality, I knew it was wrong.  I knew no one should be touching me that way.  STOP TRIVIALIZING IT!  And again, back to my point above, maybe if you had these conversations with your children, they would be fully aware.  

“Our girls, even though this was a very bad situation, as we’ve talked to other families who’ve had bad things happen, a lot of their stories were even worse.”

This was by far one of the most infuriating parts of the interview for me.  Again, as I stated above, sexual abuse is a serious thing, no matter what the degree, and excusing Josh’s behavior because others have gone through worse is just unforgiveable in my book.  She even asks Jim Bob here, “As a father of your little girls, not Josh, weren’t you upset about this having happened to them?”  Instead of answering that question, he replies with  “We are just thankful that Josh came to us and told us what happened.”  The fact that neither of these parents ever acknowledge even once in this interview, even when probed, what their daughters went through, is simply disgusting.  The entire thing was about Josh and what was best for him.

“We don’t let, we don’t let them play hide and seek together, you’re not alone together, and (MY FAVORITE) little ones don’t sit on big boys laps.  There’s boundaries we’ve learned.”

A:  Siblings should not have to have those kind of boundaries.  B:  Way to put the responsiblity and blame on the girls by telling them what they shouldn’t do around their boy siblings.

“I don’t know why this came out, there must have been some kind of agenda, or bribe, or something.’

I don’t know about everyone else, but I sure have an agenda against pedophiles.

“We want to be advocates for protecting juveniles’ records.”

Or, you could choose to advocate for these victims and other victims of sexual abuse.  Just a thought.

“A pedophile is an adult that preys on children, Joshua was just 14 and turning 15 when he did what he did, and the legal definition is 16 and up to be considered a pedophile.”

This was about the moment where I almost threw the remote at the tv.  Now you’re just debating semantics.  14 is still old enough to know right from wrong, and no matter the age, it is still a crime and should be treated as such.

“I feel like this is more about an agenda, and there’s people that are purposing to try to bring things out and twisting them to hurt and slander.”

No.  Just…no.  Could the person who came out with this have wanted to hurt you?  Sure.  But it’s not twisting, it’s the truth.  And it’s not slander, it’s THE TRUTH.  And one thing I’ve learned about the truth is that it always comes out, it just does.  If you never wanted anyone to find about this, you shouldn’t have put yourselves in the public eye.  You were not targeted because of your Christian beliefs.  No one is perfect.  You’re being targeted because you’re hypocrites.

“Hopefully justice will be served on those who released juvenile records.”

How about justice for your sexually abused daughters you ass?!?! (sorry, this is where I just lost it)

I do understand the need to protect your family and children, and I can understand why they didn’t want this to come out.  But, this whole interview was about Josh’s struggle, they said nothing about what the victims went through.  The only suffering of the victims they addressed was that now they are “being victimized by people with an agenda.”  That disgusts me.  Josh, Michelle, and Jim Bob are not the victims here.  Those poor girls are.  Who speaks for them?

In closing, I will say, I am sorry if I offended anyone with this, but as a victim of sexual abuse I cannot sit idly by and watch this whole thing be excused like he just stole a piece of candy from the drug store.  And the last thing I would say to the Duggars…people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

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