They’re not pet peeves…they’re whole kennels of irritation

***WARNING: The following post is rated R.  It contains strong language and adult situations.  Author assumes no responsibility for any offense taken if you choose to read past this point.*** 

As I have mentioned in previous posts, I’m what you would call a type A personality.  I like certain levels of order and organization, and like things done a certain way.  So obviously, there are a lot of things out there that seriously bug me.  They’re most commonly referred to as “pet peeves,” but to me, it’s just people having no effing common sense!  Since I still have not yet completed my master plan to control the entire world, I thought I would share a list of my top 15 pet peeves.

15.  Ombre hair color (AKA, roots)

  
Sorry Ombre fans, but it’s called roots, and if you can’t afford and/or are too lazy to keep up with hair coloring, then don’t color your hair!  I seriously don’t get why everyone doesn’t have the same opinion on this subject.

14. Socks and sandals

  
I have never, nor will I ever, understand this so-called fashion trend.  Guess what?  If the shoes require socks, then they are not sandals!

13. Drivers that don’t use a turn signal.

  
Enough said.

12. People who go to work sick.

  
Here is my PSA for the day:  You are not that special.  The company will survive without you for the appropriate amount of days it takes for you to get over whatever plague you might be suffering from.  Don’t be bringing that contagious shit around me unless you want to be punched in the face.

11. Wearing a band’s shirt to be “cool”

  
This makes me insane.  When I see a little hipster teen wearing a Nirvana shirt because they think it’s cool, but can’t even name one of their songs, I want to slap them silly!

10. Over-use of the word “like”

  
Might as well be fingernails on a chalkboard.

9. People who give their childs age in months (past the age of 1)

  
Because let’s face it, past 12 months, I’m too lazy to do the math.  Stop making me to try to decipher the actual age of your 45-month-old.  It’s not cute.

8. Couples who say “We’re pregnant”

  
I can’t even with this one.  Don’t do it people.  Just…don’t.

7. People who eat with their mouths open.

  
I always want to ask people, “Were you raised by pigs, is it a nasal problem, what?”  Whatever it is, figure that shit out, because I do not need to see your food as it is chewed and swallwowed.  And while we’re on that subject…

6.  Gum smackers.

  
You know the book 1984, at the end where they lock the people in a room that contains something that would be your greatest fear in order to torture them?  I feel like being locked in a room with someone smacking their gum constantly would be that form of torture for me.  I’m fairly confident I would literally go insane having to listen to it.  Honestly, I find chewing gum to be one of the most annoying things ever invented.

5.  People who invade my personal space in lines.

  
Here’s a tip:  If you see me inching away from you in line, that is me trying to regain some personal space so I don’t stab you.  It is NOT an invitation to move even closer to me.

4. Drivers who think they are more important than everyone else.

  
I dare these people to hit my car.  I also usually flash them some sublte form of communication to let them know they pissed me off…

3. Leggings as pants.

  
Don’t get me wrong, I like leggings as much as the next person.  Nothing says comfort like stretchy pants.  But ladies, please, no one wants to see every dimple on your ass or look at your camel toe.  If you’re gonna wear leggings, make sure the shirt is long enough to cover your lady parts!

2.  Bad grammar

  
Some days I wish I had a crappy education so all the bad grammar in the world wouldn’t bother me so much.  Pay attention in English class people.  It’s not that hard.

1.  Non-parents who give parenting advice.

  
Oh, you don’t have kids? Please, dazzle me with your parenting expertise.  Listen, I don’t even want unsolicited parenting advice from people who DO have kids.  So please, just keep those little kernels of wisdom to yourself, ok peeps?

Thanks as always for stopping by my blog.  Have a wonderful long weekend!

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